I'm getting stronger!

So i'm back to 49.7kgs. I've got my treadmill set up and i'm on a roll. I can do this!!!! I CAN!!

Help!!!

Help! Help me!! I'm close to binging!! I'm hungry but I'm not and I've already binged once today, I had a handfull of lollies and half a packet of shapes!!! I'm going crazy! I think I might cry. I have work tomorrow so I need both my physical and mental strength! *sobs*

Damn Aunt Flo

I was wondering mid-morning why I was lethargic and not feeling myself, then I remembered I had gotten my period (Aunt Flo) this morning. I can't wait to be skinny enough that i loose my period! I hate it, it's a disgusting gross thing, proves that if there is a God, he is most certantly a man! No woman would make this a monthly thing!!

So i weighed in this morning at 49.5kg again. I'm pretty happy about that considering my birthday party. I had eaten Shapes busicuts, a sausage and an egg on a white bread roll, plus oreo cheesecake i'd made myself and a few lollies (or candy or whatever you call them in your country!). I didn't have dinner last night, but i had two friends over and i made them steak and egg bread rolls (no more breadrolls left for me, yay!).

I finished one of my assignments today and sent it to my tutor for proof reading. I had another 2 Units sent to me as well so i'm getting through it all slowly. I have one i'm meant to be working on today but i've lost my motivation.

Such is life.

Happy after-sleeping birthday to me!

Weighed in at 49.5kg when i woke this morning, i lost 0.7kg again!!! Gosh i'm doing to well!! I'm so proud of myself! Nearly at GW1. Hells yeah!!

Lets hope my party filled with sausages, steaks, white bread and lollies wont be too tempting. If i plan it right, i could just get away with maybe one sausage and lots of salad. Fingers crossed!!

Think thin, stay strong!!

NoDisplayName xo

Happy birthday to me!

It's my birthday today, one of the many lucky people to be born on April Fools Day!!

It's 1.15am here and i just weighed myself (50.1kg) but last night i weighed myself before bed then when i woke up and i lost 0.6kg overnight so i'm hoping i'll be under 50 for my bday party. I had another friends party to go to tonight and i managed to get away without eating a sausage, i did however have 2 bits of Double Brie cheese on water crackers and some Shapes, but i'm feeling ok with that cause i managed to avoid the sausage on white bread. i also had a few smokes so i think i was able to hide the fact i barely ate!!

i found this saying the other day, and i LOVE it. it has been my mantra, repeating over and over in my head, especially when i'm having a smoke:

Coffee and smokes
and cold diet cokes
that's what pretty girls are made of

It's a play on the old rhymes:
sugar and spice
and everything nice
that's what little girls are made of


frogs and snails
and puppy dog tails
that's what little boys are made of

I love it so much cause that has been my main intake lately, except i drink Pepsi max don't diet coke. i prefer the taste of max.

so i will fill you guys in tomorrow if i find the time of how much i weighed in on my birthday. I don't count my morning weigh in until after i've slept.

Think thin, stay strong

NoDisplayName

The Power of the Mirror is only as Strong as the Person Reflected in it.

That line is from Grace Bowman's book THIN. I'm currently reading it (again). I have plenty of these type books. They are so versatile for me. Great when i was recovering, great for showing someone else had it worse, great for motivation (i know that is fucked up).

As from monday to this morning i have lost 1.1kg. Good start, but i'm still way too high. I used to be 45kgs!! I gained nearly 7kg in 12-15 months, that's disgusting!!!
Goal one is 49.0kg - award of a spray tan
Goal two is 47.0kg - award of a new book and/or movie
Goal three is 45.0kg - award to be decided then
My ultimate goal is 40.0kgs. Not too low, but totally not fat in any way. When i read the books about anorexia and/or bulimia they always say their goal weight kept on changing, they never got "there" and i worry that will happen to me. I've never reached 40kgs so i kinda hope that my goal will never change, once i get there i'll be happy enough to stop. I guess we can only find out.

I've been trying to find lots of little quotes/motivationals or whatever. Just little things that i can remember easily. Here are some of my favourites:

I'm not there yet, but i'm closer than i was yesterday

Only I can let myself fail

It wont be easy, but it will be worth it

What i see in the mirror hurts more than hunger ever will

Don't stop when you are tired,
Stop when you are DONE.

If you have nay, feel free to add them. I would love to hear your thoughts!

Think Thin,
Stay Strong

NoDisplayName!!

Failing

I have moved into my own place, but haven't had a good run lately. I had eaten 1000 cals just at work today, I was hungry when i got home and ended up binging. So freaking annoyed at myself!! And the worst part is its only day two of my new 1500 cal plan (start high, then reduce from there). I'm pretty pissed off right now. But tomorrow is a new day. I can do better tomorrow.

If you are out there and want to help me, compete with me, just have someone to email, please contact me!! I'd love to chat more with someone who actually understands what I'm going through!!

Think thin, stay strong!!